Most of us can think couples who have been married for more than 10 years are as happy in each other’s company as they were when they first met. Sadly this may not be the case for many marriages. So what’s the magic ingredient for those who are a happy couple?
Actually, it’s not just one, but five behaviors that happy relationships and marriages seem to share.
1) They are aware of each other’s changing needs and aspirations.
We all change over time and the most successful couples seem to be aware of how their partner has changed and do not just assume them to be the same as they were when they first met. They take time to understand their partner in the present time and their hopes and plans for the future.
2) They continually find new shared interests.
Couples will stay closer if they have shared interests. This is all the stronger if they can find new shared interests over the years. Getting stuck together in the same deep rut is not a recipe for a happy relationship. Whether it’s a new hobby or a new shared dream, these types of new adventures will help to keep a couple’s relationship fresh, young, and healthy.
3) They know how to argue.
Even the happiest couples will argue. But in a strong relationship, success is not defined by winning an argument or getting one’s own way, but from knowing how to discuss differences fully and honestly. If you constantly put your partner down when you disagree then the relationship is being eroded away bit by bit. To have a successful relationship couples know how to argue. They understand that they may (and oftentimes, will) disagree, but during a disagreement or argument, they work on understanding each other better and respecting the differences. This helps them to learn, grow, and understand each other better overall.
4) They accept the realities of getting older.
We all grow older and a couple in a strong relationship will ensure that they are there for each other. They will take care of one another as they deal with the physical challenges of aging and feelings of mortality. They share their thoughts on what lies ahead and take comfort from knowing that their partner will be there to support them no matter what happens.
5) They remain physically connected.
You’re never too old to hold hands, kiss, cuddle, or be intimate, and couples who do throughout their relationship are more likely to stay connected. Having a physical and sensual relationship together seems to be a key ingredient to a successful long-term relationship.
All the above ingredients are not mystical, but they can be magical.
The rewards of having a happy and loving partnership make the needed effort worthwhile. No matter how long you have been together it’s not too late to add work these ingredients, if they are missing, back into your relationship.